Salam 3alaikum
So I learned during my reading that one of a jobs of a Muslim Wife is to keep her husbands secrets.
If I write about some of our interactions here, am I telling his secrets? I intend to not reveal our identities, but some things I would like to talk about I'm not sure he would approve of me talking to my friends about face-to-face so does this apply if we are anonymous as well? I don't plan on anything disrespectful or uncovering his faults or anything, but there are things that I really need other women's advice about and my mother is not Muslim and I need good female guidance from other ladies who are facing situations like mine inshaAllah.
What do you think? I would really appreciate your point of view as I can't find any advice particular to this situation...
Jazakum Allah khair!!!
wa aalaykum as salaam!
ReplyDeletethis depends on your husbands comfort level. Mine is very strict about what goes online as he is a private person (no pics, no real names, no pics of the kids or mention of where we live). When it comes to secrets I now know what that entails after 5+ years of marriage and many, many, many, many, many mistakes and many more "I'm sorrys" from me. Talking about your sex lives is very disliked if not haraam (I'm pretty sure its haraam but I can't remember the source) unless doing so with a professional like a obgyn/midwives etc.
What you need to worry more about is backbiting as there are things my husband would NOT want me to share with the world and even if they were true or innocuous like if he prefers coffee or chocolate. If he doesn't want the world to know then better to not post it.
Usually if I'm going to post something about him I run it by him, if he is cool with it, up it goes. If not I don't post.
I've been blogging since 2009 under an alias and usually over my childhood abuse. Even with that he didn't want me posting, however, after seeing the benefits of letting go of so much pain he doesn't interfere. I then went off to start other blogs like my hijab blog etc.
Its still a tightrope between me being a social media butterfly and him being an extremely private person.
I guess it depends on your comfort level, I don't talk about personal marriage stuff at all cause I'm out there, but none of us know who you are.
ReplyDeleteThat's so weird, my comment capcha was "Girlish Mona" Lol.
ReplyDeleteOk maybe i should just bring it up with him inshaAllah and see how he feels about it...
ReplyDeleteI don't want to step on his toes but at the same time I could really use some advice as I'm pretty far from my family and I never really had any example of how a muslim wife should act and stuff.
Ok I talked to him and he said it is ok if we are anonymous, but I think inshaAllah I will also do like Tuttie and ask him to sort of "approve" my topics choices just in case. I don't want to feel as if I'm hiding anything from him because that usually means you're doing something wrong...
ReplyDeletesister i think that we all have a natural instinct over what's appropriate or not. to me blogging is like talking to someone who can't see your face, lol. they don't know who you are, but would you tell them your own secrets? behind most usernames is someone there so just think of it as telling real people things and see what you are comfortable with. for me i usually own talk about events, feelings and marriage are a bit too personal to share but will definitely share with friends i've met online.
ReplyDeletesee how you feel inshAllah :)
Thanks for the advice Ellen, inshaAllah I will do that. I don't plan to talk about things that are quite personal, but I think it is easy to forget sometimes that there are real people out there reading this stuff.
DeleteSo I will kind of just give my self a test each time: would I tell it to someone at the grocery store? lol inshaAllah it will help